The Things No One Tells You Before You Have Your First Baby

To be perfectly fair, I might not have listened anyway.

Looking back, there’s a lot that goes on after having your first child that I was completely unprepared for. I had no idea and, as I sat back and watched it unfold, I wondered why no one told me. In the interest of fairness to expecting parents though, I feel compelled to jot down a few things that no one tells you:

[Quick disclaimer though – this post may make it seem like I have it all figured out, check we’re all good on that, but I don’t…. I’m still learning. But that’s part of the fun of parenting right? Just when you think you have them all figured out, they go and throw you a curve ball.]

About the baby:

  • Newborns are really hard. Seriously. Have you ever had something that needed you for everything? Literally everything? It’s exhausting and monotonous and the worst part is, you can’t really prepare yourself for it. Yeah, sure, I knew a newborn would need to eat all the time and would wake up to eat around the clock. But it’s one thing to know that and quite another to do that.
  • The evenings will most likely be the worst part of your day. Pre-baby, evenings were about relaxing or taking care of a small chore or two. You could ease out of the stress of the day and wind down until bedtime, when you would slip between your sheets and head off to dreamland for seven hours or so. With a newborn though, there’s no “easing out of the stress of the day” because your day isn’t over and it will never be “over” in the way that it used to be. Evening is just a time to gear up towards night and the crap shoot of newborn sleep. The feeling of dread that washed over me around 6:30 or 7pm every evening took a long time to fade.
  • If you’re anything like me, having a newborn will feel a lot like pregnancy – always wishing you (now your baby) was just a little further along. When the dumpling was just days old, I remember telling Luffy that I was looking forward to him being past the newborn phase and on to more exciting things like sitting and crawling.
  • Your baby might not be very cute (cue gasp!). Why is it that newborns look alarmingly similar to old men? Is it the grumpy appearance or the lack of hair? Perhaps the wrinkles? Not sure. All I can tell you is that when I look back at early pictures of the dumpling, he doesn’t look like himself to me. He looks like a newborn.
  • You know that phrase I love you but I don’t really like you right now? That might be very applicable to your relationship with you newborn. Oh sure, I loved the dumpling, but there were times (numerous times) when I didn’t really like him all that much. That’s what happens when something takes-takes-takes but never gives.

Honestly, the realest piece of advice I have, that no one seems to mention, is that you just might not like having a newborn. And that’s ok. Apparently, it’s common parent knowledge that every age and stage comes with things you like and things you don’t. There will be ages you adore and stages that you can’t wait for them to outgrow. And that’s ok. Not liking the newborn stage does not mean that you’re a terrible parent and doomed to a horrible relationship with your child – which is how it feels when you’re looking down at a screaming six-week-old at 3 in the morning. Like I said, newborns are hard. You’re sleep deprived, you’re adjusting to a radically different life, you’re recovering from child-birth, you feel social pressure from a million different places, all while being needed around the clock. There are women (and men!) out there who do like the newborn stage, but you don’t have to be one of them. And that’s ok.

About your body:

So we’ve all heard that you won’t sleep. And that it could feel like your vagina’s going to fall out the bottom. And that you will still look six-months pregnant for a while. And that you could bleed for what feels like forever. But there are other things…

  • Your hormones will plummet a few days after birth and you will not feel like yourself AT ALL. I don’t consider myself a hormonal person. I never really had mood swings, either during my periods or during pregnancy. The only mood swings I really experienced were during my fertility treatment days. So when I heard about a hormone crash, I didn’t really think it applied to me… Whooo boy, was I wrong. I found myself anxious, so very very anxious. Just the sound of the baby crying would send me into a doom spiral. I could hardly sleep because I was worried that the baby would cry and then the baby would cry and I’d be like I KNEW IT. It was bad. The dumpling felt like a ticking time bomb to me, always counting down. Just know that it evens out and, eventually, it will go away completely.
  • All that hormonal craziness I mentioned above, it can take a long time to go away and you will blame lots things on it for a while. My hair is still (five months post-partum) shedding at an alarming rate and every weird thing that my body does I’m like I dunno, maybe it’s the hormones??? 
  • You haven’t had to worry about birth control for a very long time and you will suddenly be quite concerned with birth control. How effective is it? What’s the failure rate? What’s the real, non-laboratory-setting failure rate? What do you MEAN there’s still a 0.5% chance of conception??? All of these become very important questions. Even if you struggled with infertility because wouldn’t that just be my luck.
  • Your stomach will feel weird. Beyond the saggier skin that needs some time to shrink back, your stomach will feel oddly sensitive and yet not sensitive. My theory on this is that while you were pregnant, the nerve endings got farther apart right? Because your belly expanded but you didn’t get any new nerve endings. The expansion happened relatively slowly so you got used to the sensory input from the belly. And now it (the belly) is gone. So the skin shrinks back and the nerve endings get closer together again except this change happens more abruptly (and without all of the other aches and pains of pregnancy to distract you). I’m not really sure. All I know is that when I touch my stomach, it still feels supremely odd.

The last piece about this, which sort of wraps up everything: I wasn’t prepared for how needed I would become. (This is partly due to my choices, as I chose to breastfeed for as long as possible, so this particular item might not be the same for others.) When I was pregnant, Luffy and I talked about how we would do this together. Parenting is a team sport – and it is! – it’s just not really an equal 50/50 split. At least not in the beginning. When you’re the only one who can feed the baby (and that baby eats every 2-3 hours, around the clock), there’s a lot resting on your shoulders. Some women thrive on this (probably the same ones who really like the newborn phase). It was certainly a shock to me. Before the dumpling arrived, I’d say I was needed. I like to take care of Luffy and Jas – make sure they are attended to. But I could always tell Luffy to fend for himself if I didn’t feel like cooking that day and, let’s be honest, Jas is a cat so she doesn’t need much. When it comes to a newborn though, there’s no shirking your responsibilities for a day. No sick days. No procrastinating. No oh, I’ll do that later. Even now, there’s still so much resting on me. We nurse twice a night typically. I  pump four times a day, for at least twenty minutes each time. I’m still struggling with this needed-ness, if we’re being honest.


So all of these things that don’t get mentioned, is it to keep up the illusion that parenting a newborn is wonderful? Perhaps. Could it be that, while most things felt so looming and insurmountable at the time, they pass relatively quickly? Possible.

I think though, it’s because all of the trials and tribulations quickly become worth it. The round-the-clock nursing won’t feel so terrible when your baby starts pausing to smile up at you before continuing to nurse. The first time he laughs. The first time she rolls and looks at you with surprise. The look of awe or disgust she gives you when she tries a new food. The adorable quirks he picks up along the way (the dumpling learned – from someone or somewhere???? – how to blow bubbles it’s apparently called a lip trill and it’s so freaking adorable).

It sounds trite, I know it does, especially when you’re knee-deep in newborn territory, but it’s true. It will be worth it, but it may just not be Day One. And that’s ok.

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Baby’s First Flight!

Last Tuesday, exactly a week ago, we got a postcard in the mail. My mom had recently finished renovating her newly acquired office building and she was having an open house. This was a huge milestone for her. She’s been in business for over 11 years, but she’s rented her space the entire time. She had outgrown her original space long ago and had slowly leased additional suites in the same building. These suites were not all together though, so she and her employees were constantly running through common area to get back and forth. Plus there was a lack of security, given she had to rely on other tenants to lock the exterior doors. Then there was also the fact that the entire building shared a bathroom. Etc. Etc. Lots of reasons why this new building is going to be such a huge step up for her and her employees. Plus her own building! With her name on it!

When we got the postcard invitation to her open house, Luffy asked me if I was going to attend. It was on Friday though, middle of the day, in my hometown (5+ hours away by car) and Luffy also happened to be out of town that day.

“No,” I chuckled, “I’ll just send her some flowers to let her know we’re thinking of her.”


Last Thursday, around 2pm, I got a call that registered with my hometown’s area code. I answered, instantly recognizing my mom’s business partner’s voice. He and my mom’s best friend (who also happens to be her employee) wanted to surprise my mom by having me there for her open house. They’d cover the flight, they’d pick me up, they’d even purchase a car seat if that made things easier for me. My mom always planned surprises for everyone else and they wanted the chance to surprise her.

What could I do but agree?


Thursday night, as I lay in bed contemplating the next day – flying with the dumpling all by myself – I dissolved into a ball of nerves. What on earth was I thinking?! Flying home, with no one to help me with the dumpling?! I’m crazy! I’m insane! I should be committed!

As 11pm and then midnight and then 1am rolled around, I tried frantically to adjust my plans. I even got on the phone with the airlines to try to take a different flight (that actually didn’t exist – turns out I tend to misread things when it’s 12:30 in the morning and I’m freaking out). I tried desperately to come up with a solution that would allow me leave the dumpling at daycare and be home in time to pick him up. (To be clear, we have plenty of friends and family in the area who would have been here for the dumpling in case he needed it. I wasn’t just going to abandon my young to daycare and go jet-setting.)

Finally, probably around 1:30 in the morning or so, a mere four and a half hours before I needed to get up, I calmed myself. I could handle this. I was flying with the dumpling, not some stranger’s squalling infant. We would be fine. Worst case scenario, the flight is only 45 minutes long, I’m pretty sure I (and my seatmates) would be able to survive anything for just 45 minutes. And with that thought, I finally managed to get to sleep.


I awoke with a start at 5:45 because omg the baby! He hadn’t made a peep all night. Of course, the one night I’m riddled with nerves and can’t sleep is the one night he sleeps all the way through. Because of course. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but I was wide awake. Which was probably ok because the dumpling ruined my plans to get ready before getting him up for the day by waking up at 6:15 and nursing for half an hour. But even with the curve ball, I got him fed, myself showered, breakfast eaten, Jas got her medicine, and we were out the door by 7:30!

And then I got to laugh at my anxious self as the dumpling did beautifully in the airport. He peaked out from his carrier as we went through security and made our way to the gate. He slept while we waited to board and woke up to be delighted by the airplane. A kind couple behind me shifted seats so that I could have a row to myself. I nursed him as soon as we took off and he nodded off for his first nap of the day. He slept the whole flight and woke up just as we were touching down. We made our way through my hometown’s small airport to find my mom’s best friend. As promised, she had a newly purchased car seat in the back. She had, adorably, given up YouTubing for installation help and had taken it to the local fire station. We chatted excitedly as we made our way to my mom’s business. With her business partner keeping her distracted from the security camera feeds, we made our way inside.

When I rounded the corner into my mom’s office, she stared at me, completely shocked and not really putting the pieces together – to see the dumpling and I standing in her office on a Friday morning. But the second passed and she burst into happy tears and came around her desk to envelope us both in a hug. She took the dumpling from me, hugged me again and again, and then proceeded to direct the set-up for her open house one-handed as she carried the dumpling everywhere – her mood notably lifted.

It was so much fun getting to surprise her like that! She was so shocked to see us and we made her day. We also got to surprise many of my extended family (including my own granddad who got the opportunity to meet his great-grandson!). Of course, with only two people in-the-know, we surprised nearly everyone who came out to support my mom. My mom had a blast showing her grandson off to all of her friends.

Since I was travelling alone and I needed to be back home to teach my first class the next day (which – SPOILER ALERT – didn’t end up happening because of a stomach bug I picked up along the way), our flight home was at 4:30 that afternoon. Mom drove us to the airport, sad to see us go but ever so happy that we came.

The dumpling did well on the flight home, although he was much more tired and therefore a touch more cranky. We made it home in time to get him into bed on time. Then I took a hot shower, had some dinner delivered, chatted with Luffy, and climbed into bed myself, exhausted from our busy day.

And then I got back up and puked, but let’s just pretend the story ended on my happier note, shall we?

Baby’s first cold

We lasted just under three months. My poor dumpling.

It was the introduction to daycare, of course. We weren’t overly cautious with him as a newborn – we’ve been taking him to restaurants and stores since he was just a couple of weeks old – but we did always take precautions like covering his car seat and staying away from huge crowds. By his last day at the original daycare however, he already had some nasal congestion and we’ve gone downhill since.

We’ve been really lucky in that, so far, it hasn’t seemed to affect his temperament or sleep. He coughs at night but it doesn’t really appear to wake him. For the first time I have zero guilt about him being in his Rock N Play still because the incline is undoubtedly helping him sleep better at night. He’s his usual happy self during the day, although he does appear annoyed at all the coughing (not that I can blame him!). He hasn’t run a fever so far. All really good signs that he truly is battling just the common cold because, oh my, is it ever hard to listen to your baby cough and hack. He’s so young and his lungs are just so tiny! Poor dumpling.

He passed it to me, of course. There’s only so much my immune system can do when it’s being constantly bombarded by the germy little guy. What can I say? He likes to sneeze and cough on me as he’s nursing. So we’re both a little miserable and phlegm-y. It’s quite the cold because I have been fighting it for a week and a half with minimal improvement. Texas isn’t helping because the weather can’t decide which season we should be in today. Monday was spring with highs in the upper 70’s. Today’s back to winter with cold winds and a high in the low 50’s.

So yeah, send us get well wishes! And tissues because we are fresh out.

Back in the Saddle Again

I’m back! (cue Steven Tyler mic tip and hair flip)

Welp folks. My maternity leave has officially ended. I am on my third day of being a working mom. I think it’s going pretty well. It’s nice to be back at my job, using my brain for things other than keeping track of how long it’s been since the dumpling has slept. Though it’s a little dusty up there, I’m pleased to report that I do remember financial terms and can still label a balance sheet! Back in October, this time seemed like an eternity away. When the newborn days hit us hard, January seemed like it would never arrive. And now we’re here. That chapter has closed.

Three days in and all I have to say is whew! There’s just so much to remember to get the dumpling and myself out the door every morning. Milk. Lunch bag. Computer bag. Diaper bag. Pump. Pump parts. Seriously – did you pack the pump parts??? (A crucial piece that I forgot yesterday and had to turn around and drive all the way back home for.)

I have a pretty great arrangement with work. If you’ll remember (waaaaaay back at the beginning of my pregnancy), I worked out an arrangement that I would work from home part time. Today is the first day of that and I think I’m really going to like it. Mornings are a lot smoother when I’m not as concerned about getting myself out the door to go downtown. I can also pump while working, which is very convenient as I’ve already seen why working and pumping moms often stop pumping. It’s just such a nuisance. Yes, I know you’re providing sustenance for your child. Woo! But it also means 20 to 30 minutes (every three hours or so), locked in a room at work, feeling weird because you’re shirtless. It means interrupting conversations and meetings because you’re boobs are full. Or not interrupting conversations and meetings and then realizing that it’s 3pm and you’ve only pumped once. It means stopping what you’re doing right now because you’re already behind on your pumping schedule. Since I’m working from home most of the week, I think I’ll be more likely to keep up with pumping as it’s just my conversations with Jas that might get interrupted. (And who are we kidding, she’s a cat… she’s probably happy that I stopped talking to her and left her to nap in peace.)

We did change daycares. I feel pretty good about the new place so far. Everyone is warm and welcoming. Even though it’s a center (which I always stigmatized as huge and impersonal), the staff and teachers have greeted the dumpling by name every morning. They tell me that he’s the happiest baby! So many smiles! They also have a great app that keeps us up to date on his day in real time (he’s napping right now). They can also send us pictures through the app which is how Luffy and I got to view the dumpling’s displeasure with tummy time on Tuesday. I, however, am very happy that he’s getting regular tummy time and stimulation as I seriously doubt he was getting such attention at the last place.

So now Luffy and I are once again shifting our roles a bit, finding our groove in this new routine. Luffy helps me wash the daycare bottles and pumping bottles. I take time each night to get the dumpling’s bottles ready for the next day (right now, he’s getting all fresh milk because I’m battling a cold and want to make sure he’s getting all my antibodies). Luffy picks up the dumpling when I’m working from the office. I race home from to nurse. But at the end of the day, we get to spend a little time with our dumpling; coaxing adorable smiles that make the entire day so worth it.

Parent training – it’s only the beginning

Luffy always jokes that half of having a child is actually not about training the child, it’s about training the parent. Learning to live off 5 broken hours of sleep. Learning to live in a noisier household. Learning that every cry and whimper and sneeze need not be attended to. Learning how to let other people care for your child. He poked fun at me earlier this week when I was wailing in the kitchen that I missed my baby boyHe sleeps most of the time anyway! he told me.

But another part of parent training is learning to trust your gut, especially when it comes to child care. When we interviewed with our in-home provider last year she had six children under her care, including two of her own toddlers. The dumpling would make seven – perfectly in line with the recommendations by the Texas licensing division for a mixed aged class. Wonderful! we thought. I took a cursory look into daycare centers, but pretty quickly opted against them in favor of in-home care. I wanted the dumpling to have a bit more love and attention than a typical daycare center. I liked that he would be exposed to older children (who were hopefully modeling some good behavior!). I liked that it would be in a more private setting (which hopefully meant less germs!). It just felt like a good fit for us.

Little Dumpling’s first week has been good. He has responded well, though he’s understandably been more tired. We’ve had some issues with feeding, primarily because, as we’ve pretty much exclusively nursed up to this point, I had no idea how much he needed in each bottle. But. Each morning I count the car seats in the mud room (another bonus of in-home care! his car seat stays with him, so none of that well I dropped him off so now I have the car seat and HAVE to pick him up)… six car seats, seven car seats, eight car seats. It varies based on the time of day. Yesterday, when Luffy and I went to pick him up, Luffy counted 10 kids in the play area; I added one more to the total because I could hear one kid crying in the nap area. That’s eleven children. And one care giver.

….

For reference, an infant-only room in a licensed daycare is only allowed to have a ratio of four to one. Now, obviously, some of her kids are older, but not all. She has several that look to be under a year old. This concerns me a bit. When we talked to her about it this morning, she didn’t explicitly say how many kids she has (maybe she doesn’t want to???), but she assured us she is in the process of hiring help. She just hasn’t found a good fit yet.

….

I get how hard it is to hire someone, I really do. My primary concern is that she put herself into this position in the first place. Eleven (or more) kids to one care giver is far too many. Out of concern for her charges, she shouldn’t have taken on more children until she had help in place. I’m giving her until the end of January to hire more help or we’re moving the Dumpling. Her care, to this point, has been fine, but with so many children, I feel like there’s a disaster waiting to happen. It doesn’t even have to be a disaster – it could just be a day that child A is cranky and child B is teething and child C is learning to crawl and – oh whoops – the Dumpling hasn’t eaten in five hours. Or he’s been in the swing for the entire day. Or he’s the one learning to crawl and there he goes down the stairs…

Anyway, we’ve already started the search for alternative child care, just in case. Parent in training over here – learning to trust myself when I get that there’s nothing blatantly going wrong but I’m uncomfortable with the situation  feeling.

The Newborn Chronicles: 11w1d

Little Dumpling is at daycare right now.

The house feels empty.

I feel a little lost.

Drop off went well! He’s too young to have separation anxiety right now, so the hand off was simple (for him at least – I didn’t really want to let him go). We found a lovely in-home daycare that I’m sure I mentioned once upon a pregnant time. I like that it’s a small group of mixed aged kids and he’ll have one teacher the entire time.

As I drove home without my baby this morning, I had to remind myself about all the reasons why I decided to be a working mom. Providing for our family, ensuring that by the time it really matters Luffy and I will both be able to spend much more time with the Dumpling. And, to be perfectly honest, I think I’ll enjoy it. I miss my job and my coworkers. While these last couple of weeks have been enjoyable, I do miss having responsibilities and contributing to our household. I mean, if someone wanted to pay me to stay home all the time, I’d take it.


I wrote all that yesterday. The morning passed quickly and then it was time to pick him up! And then I spent the afternoon breaking down a bit.

He didn’t smile at me when I picked him up. He was fussy (because he was tired) and I tried not to take it personally but I had looked forward to that reunion smile all morning long.

And then he didn’t smile at me all afternoon. He slept for a couple of hours and then woke because he was extremely hungry (I would realize later that I hadn’t sent enough milk for him). Then he fussed immediately after eating because he was still tired. I didn’t get a smile until early evening.

And all afternoon I thought to myself – I broke my baby. My happy, beautiful baby boy. I broke him by sending him off to be cared for by someone else. Which is a ridiculous thought, but I had it anyway. And I fretted over diapers and a skin blotch and a random toe boo-boo. Luffy tried to talk sense into me, repeatedly, but I was a lost cause. I secretly thought the Dumpling would wake a hundred times during the night because we had thrown him so far off schedule. He didn’t. He woke up at his usual time, nursed, and went back to sleep like normal.

This morning’s drop off went smoothly but I came home and cried. I cried to Luffy. I cried to my momma. I cried in his nursery. I just missed him so damn much. Luffy tried to brighten my mood by pointing out that he still sleeps most of the day anyway. I bawled that at least I could look at him.

I’m better now. The dumpling slept better today at daycare and he came home in a happy mood. He even got some play time in on his mat before going down for a nap. Tomorrow’s probably going to be rough as well because it’s his first full day.


Once upon a time, also known as the beginning of maternity leave, I couldn’t wait to pass the Dumpling off to his daycare provider. To tap out, so to speak. The monotony and tedium of caring for a newborn wore on me. I missed my routine. I missed working. I missed having responsibilities that didn’t involve changing a diaper or trying to get an infant to sleep. I looked forward to January and returning to work like kids look forward to their birthdays. I didn’t understand those moms who were already lamenting the passing of time and the return to work.

Now though, now I get it. We’ve established our own cozy little routine. It took me some time, to settle into this role of mother, but I truly enjoy it now. The days don’t feel quite so monotonous when I break it up with tummy time and hanging out on the floor. The dumpling has matured enough that any fussiness usually has an obvious reason (he’s tired, most likely, the little boy loves to sleep). I’ve gained enough confidence as a mom not to rush over at every cry and whimper. I no longer view his cries as a failure on my part. I can listen to him and know which cry means “I’m hungry” and which one means “I’m falling asleep, leave me alone.” The days, which at first felt so long, now fly by.

My maternity leave officially ends Friday; I’m due back at work on Monday. I know I’ll enjoy being back at work. I’m looking forward to trying out my new arrangement (working from home half of the week). I’m looking forward to interacting with my coworkers; I miss those guys. But. I also know I’ll miss the dumpling so, SO much. It breaks my heart to know that I’ll see him in the mornings to nurse and then won’t see him again until bedtime. We plan to get him up earlier than we technically need to, just so we can all hang out while he’s all smiles and coos. This also means though that he has to go to bed earlier, so that cuts out any evening time together (again, the boy loves his sleep – it took us a solid five minutes just to wake him up this morning!).

I’m going to miss his smiles. I’m going to miss carrying him around the house. I’m going to miss just hanging out with him while he naps or plays on his mat. I know I’ll get to see him on the weekends, but I have to share him on the weekends. With Luffy. With Luffy’s parents (who will want at least a couple of hours of our time). I will selfishly miss this time when I got him all to myself, when I got all the smiles and all the coos.

I’ll just miss him so damn much.

The Newborn Chronicles: 9w2d

The tides are turning my friends. It dawned on me this past Monday that I only have three weeks of maternity leave left. Three weeks! And for the first time, when I thought of returning to work, rather than looking forward to the return to my routines, I felt sad. Just three short weeks left of hanging out with Little Dumpling. Then, Luffy and I decided to arrange some transitional days for the Dumpling at his day care provider. A couple of half days, a couple of whole days – good for both of us as we begin a new routine. However, this means I really just have two full weeks left. Two! TWO.

Luffy is already making fun of me because just a few weeks ago I was going on about how I couldn’t wait to go back to work and to share the responsibility of caring for the dumpling. But now. Now I’m a little saddened by the thought of not seeing him all day. We’re finally to the point where our days have some routine. The Dumpling’s getting big enough for me to actually enjoy. He’s awake for about an hour now, more or less. He’s all smiles when he’s well rested. He loves his play mat (an adorable little activity gym that I opened on a whim). He stares at the toys overhead and smiles at his reflection (he loves that guy in the mirror!). He’s becoming more and more vocal. He coos at us all day long. I’m expecting his first giggle any week now. He finally enjoys his swing and will take some naps in it if needed.

Our biggest progress though has been on the sleep front. When we last chatted, Luffy and I were so frustrated with the two or three hour dance it took to get the dumpling down for the night. On good nights, he would wake every three hours like clockwork. On the bad, it was every hour and a half or less. One particularly low morning, Luffy found me at 6:20am, crying on the couch as I nursed the dumpling again. I had just put him down at 5:30 and he was up again. Luffy suggested we look into sleep training because he couldn’t stand to see me upset like that, frustrated with the Dumpling and with myself.

The turning point came at our two month appointment. Our pediatrician gave us the go ahead to try sleep training. Her opinion was that it certainly couldn’t hurt. If it didn’t work, put a pin in it and try again in a few weeks. She told us we were overthinking the sleep thing. We were trying everything to force naps to ensure that the dumpling got close to the 15 hour recommendation. She told us that the dumpling would take care of his sleep needs; we just needed to provide the opportunity and environment for sleep.

Now, it’s still a work in progress. Definitely not perfect, but the change has been so nice. He’s falling asleep all on his own most of the time. I no longer have to spend twenty extra minutes after each night nursing to rock him; I can just put him back in his Rock ‘n’ Play. He’s sleeping longer stretches on occasion too and I firmly believe it’s because he can fall asleep on his own (and therefore no longer absolutely needs us when he wakes between sleep cycles). He’s doing really well and I am so proud of him.

So yeah, it’s going to be tough leaving him. I feel like we picked a good day care provider. I think he’ll have fun there and be well cared for. I’m excited to return to work. I’m looking forward to more routine. But I’m also sad to know this chapter is quickly ending. I’m not looking forward to the days I’ll be away from him the longest (I return to teaching my exercise class at the end of the month, but I will start attending class as practice sessions). I know we’ll be stretched a little thinner and we’ll probably flounder a bit as we work through establishing a new routine. But we’ll get there. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy my last few weeks of hanging out with Little Dumpling.