Dinner Fail

Have you ever had a meal just go spectacularly wrong? That was our dinner last night. I mean, not smoke-alarm, blackened turkey wrong, but inedible nonetheless.

It started with a plan. A great plan, if I do say so myself! Skirt steak using our sous vide, collard greens, and leftover cauliflower mash. Perfect! Delicious! Healthy! And, probably most importantly, beef! Which I have been craving for the past couple of weeks. A perfect Tuesday night dinner: easy, healthy, and tasty.

When I got home (a tad early because of the small fact that I couldn’t breathe), I began scrolling through Instagram which is always a bad idea pre-meal time because I subscribe to a lot of food accounts. And…. yes…. a pic of cheesy garlic bread looked too delicious to resist and Luffy ever so helpfully (or perhaps unhelpfully) volunteered to go get some garlic bread. Yay! The addition of some carbs to our meal surely wouldn’t completely negate the otherwise virtuous meal.

When Luffy got home, the bread looked so delicious that we decided to dig right in. An appetizer! Just add some mozzarella and voila! It was good. Real good. We ate the entire loaf. And had no regrets. I mean, vegetables were still coming, no worries.

And this moment, right here, is when things started going downhill.

When I went to start dinner, I pulled the collard greens out of the fridge and realized they had gone bad. Whoops. I tossed them and got the leftover cauliflower mash out. I reheated it and gave it a taste. Even through my congestion I could taste the fridge (I suppose it’s really staleness, but food that’s been in the fridge too  long just always taste like the fridge to me). Bleh. So I put those to the side.

“Don’t worry!” Luffy said from the living room. “We can have carrots!”

So he pulled baby carrots out of the fridge while I finished prepping the steak. We sat down to a salvaged meal. There’s still beef! There’s still a veggie! All good. And then we each took a bite of the steak.

Wah-wah.

So salty. Too salty. Luffy apologized for over-salting it that morning and wondered what he had done wrong. He had used the same amount as always. And that’s when the light bulb went off for me. He had asked me to pass the salt shaker that morning, which I did. But I passed him table salt and I suddenly realized that he usually uses sea salt. At the time, I didn’t think to ask if table salt was what he wanted. If you’re not familiar with sea salt, it doesn’t pack the same punch as table salt. You need to use a lot more sea salt to season food, so of course if you’re using table salt when you think you’re using sea salt – hoo boy. I kept eating small bites (because CRAVINGS – there was beef right there), but finally I had to stop. Luffy didn’t even try (because he is smart). We finished our carrots and he offered to go get me some food. I turned him down because I’d already eaten lots of bread and carrots, no need to pick up a meal.

I told him to think of the garlic bread as a fancy grilled cheese. Yeah…. that’s what I was going for. Grilled cheese and carrots. Totes healthy.

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