One aspect of what I call the first trimester cover-up that I really enjoy is the secret itself. I like knowing that I have a little secret – something that I keep all to myself. At work, driving home, teaching my classes – all of that done while my body is busy creating a whole separate body and no one else knows but me. Having this secret makes me feel … womanly. It’s empowering.
I laugh to myself when my coworker (whose baby is about nine months old) starts talking about his children or giving me advice on daycare (seriously! sign up for daycare as soon as you know you’re pregnant, he’s told me….. wait, crap, I need to get on that). I laugh to myself when my lunch order consisted solely of a cookie (the company was ordering from Jimmy John’s and pregnant ladies are supposed to avoid cold deli meats, if you haven’t heard – on the other hand, I hear cookies with a side of broccoli are perfectly acceptable). I smile to myself while I’m teaching class, up on stage and on display for the entire class to see – oh if you only knew! I think.
I’m looking forward to the bump, as I imagine most pregnant women do. I’m looking forward to being able to openly discuss my pregnancy with friends and coworkers and students. I can’t wait for the kicks and the I-think-that’s-a-foot protrusions. I can’t wait until later in the pregnancy, until closer to my due date, when the countdown will truly be on.
But for now, I’m enjoying my feminine secret. I know something you don’t know! My body is performing an incredible miracle and you have no clue!