A quick note first: Do you ever just want to jump into a story? Have you ever become so entranced in a story’s characters and world that you never want the story to end – for it to just continue on forever and ever? Maybe you could check in with them, those characters that you fell in love with, every few weeks or months to see how their lives are progressing. It’s a bittersweet feeling when you finish that last page or episode and know that the story, their story, is finished.
That’s exactly where I am right now. Over a fairy tale, no less, which makes me feel like a teenager again, fangirling all over the place when the main characters finally (FINALLY) got together in the last episode and love conquered all and even the evil guy found peace. Beautiful. Glorious. Perfection. But why does it have to end?!
I had a Monday off this week and, from the paragraphs above, you can probably tell what I spent my time doing. I think I watched a collective 20 hours of the show this past weekend and finished it up about 10pm Monday night. Besides watching way too much TV, I also cooked up a storm and baked. I rediscovered a fantastic stew I’d made a few years ago and made another batch of cookies that were well received over the holidays.
It was a good few days. I wish I could go back to them. I’ve had a hard time getting back into work this week. Possibly because of my aforementioned lingering fascination/obsession with the fairy tale, or maybe because of the long weekend (it’s always hard to come back to work after a vacation), or maybe because I’m sort of bored with work. I’ve hit my stride in my current position where I’m not really learning anything new. We hired on a new staff, whom I’ve been training and that’s been awesome, but with his arrival, I feel a bit out of place. He’s handling a lot of my typical “meaningful” work, which has been a huge relief and is also good for him and his training, but that leaves me to the boring, almost secretarial aspects of my job. Answering other people’s questions, gathering documents, forwarding mail, snooooooze. I haven’t picked up anything new or challenging from my superior yet, so I’m just caught in the middle, tying up loose ends. Just this morning, when I was waking up, I looked up at the ceiling and thought to myself – I really don’t want to go to work today…. I dread going to work today and slogging through nine hours of tasks and busy work. It was the first time I’d had that thought since I was an auditor with a Big 4 public accounting firm.
(Also, if I’m being honest, I really thought I would have left this job by now or at least have my situation so changed that it would be new and engaging. Because I thought we’d have a child by now and that I would be working part-time or from home or even not working.)
Some might say that it’s time to leave, if I feel this way, but I can’t bring myself to. I have a really awesome job, with people I actually enjoy working with and for. The benefits are great and my work/life balance is actually a real thing. I hate the commute, but I know that taking a job closer to home would likely result in a significant pay cut and the loss of some fringe benefits. I’d like to continue to work here, reaping the rewards, even if it means I’m bored and lacking motivation at times.
So wow, this post really took a turn. You can probably tell that sometimes I just sit down and start writing and see where it takes me – this is one of those times.