Radio Silence

I cannot tell a lie, dear internet: I am more than a little bummed.

I told you earlier that I have been sick recently. It seems that being sick has also robbed us of a chance to conceive this month.

[insert off-camera sniffles here]

I took my last dose of Clomid on Christmas morning, full of hope that this would be the cycle. This would be the one! It hadn’t worked out for the first one, but that’s ok because we could try again now!

And then I got sick. And there’s been zero activity down there since. Silence from my ovaries.

I’ve been dutifully monitoring my temperature and taking ovulation tests every morning, with absolutely no change. I’ve passed the typical window for ovulation and am nearing  my (self-imposed) deadline (where I’ll give up the ovulation tests and start the progesterone pills to override this cycle). I even gave my body a few extra days, just in case. And while I understand that even in completely healthy, normal women, sickness can delay or prevent ovulation, it feels especially cruel when I’ve taken medicine to try to induce it.

So now, I’m in murky waters. I have an appointment with my GYN coming up where we’ll either be referred to a specialist or I can ask to take a few more rounds of Clomid. Before I started taking Clomid, our plan hinged upon whether or not I ovulated. If I didn’t ovulate, we’d go to the specialist. If I did, we’d ask for a few more cycles (as many as my GYN feels comfortable prescribing). I ovulated the first time but not the second so…..

Do I request another try with the Clomid? If I do, at what dosage? The minimum dosage is best, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Should I bump my dosage up? Or should I hold out that the cause of my latest anovulatory cycle was being ill and keep my current dosage? Or do I scratch all of that and head to the specialist because I’ve always had the feeling that I’m outside of my GYN’s experience?

Sigh. I have no idea.

I’m sad that I didn’t ovulate this cycle. I’m even more sad that we’ve missed our chance to conceive because I wasn’t healthy. I’m upset that the Clomid didn’t work and fear what that might imply for future attempts. I’m disappointed that I’ll have to take the progesterone pills this time because I dread the side effects. I’m trying to stay positive, I really am, but I can’t pretend I’m carefree.


I can’t end a post on that melancholy note, so I’ll tell you about Jas’ Christmas.

She had a fabulous one, thank you for asking. She was indulged by my parents and conned numerous people into treats at all hours. Because of that, she’s now on a post-holiday diet which she is most displeased about. She got two new toys from us. One of the toys was an unfortunate purchase in that it chirps when you tap it, which, to be fair, I was looking for. The problem is that “chirp” to me means a quick little one note tweap and “chirp” to the manufacturer means 15 second, multi-note song. So. Jas taps it and it goes off for a solid minute as she bats it around. I’ve taken to putting the toy in a drawer before we head to bed lest she decide that 2AM is the PERFECT TIME TO CHASE SOME BIRDIES. CHIRPCHIRPTWEAP

 

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