I Dreamed a Little Dream For Your Entertainment

So I’m one of those people who remembers my dreams on a fairly regular basis. This amuses Luffy to no end because I have some very weird dreams. The following were all from last night:

Dream 1 – Zombies from Target

This dream began with me at the vet with my parents’ oldest mini schnauzer. Oddly, our appointment was at 10PM and they were giving her shots and also drawing blood. And then rubbing her haunches like she was a horse. Very strange. It was a long appointment and we left at 1:30AM. I got into my car and then tried to lock the doors behind me (it was dark out!), but accidentally rolled down the window (which will become very important in a minute). I decided to leave it alone and off we went, driving through my hometown in the middle of the night when – all of a sudden – ZOMBIES! They were pouring out of the local Target, all creepy and trudge-y like. And of course my window was rolled down, so I frantically rolled it up as one tried to swipe my pup from my lap. I went on to casually mow down several zombies and gave zero fucks. I made it to my parents’ home, but was trapped outside because there was a zombie snoozing on the ground in front of the garage (don’t ask me why, maybe he was tired).

I woke myself up here because I started to get really freaked out about this very chill zombie standoff.

Dream 2 – Zombies from Target II – Escape from Zombieland

Unfortunately, when I went back to sleep I dived right back in where I left off. However, my subconscious had decided to go easy on me and skipped the showdown with the garage zombie – my apologies that we’ll never find out how it ended. Obviously I was victorious though as I was now inside my parents’ house, with Luffy and our friend KJ, who is our resident zombie expert. Luffy and KJ were trying to formulate an escape plan. They were talking about how much money, exactly, we’d need. Like $750k? $1M? I’m not sure where we were getting these funds, but the casual discussion made it seem like it was NBD. Jackpot. Anyway, I tried to curl up and get some rest, but Jasmine was hogging the bed (both in my dream and IRL – gah Jas, get off me!)

I woke myself up again as I was disturbed by the continued presence of zombies in my dream. That and Jas made me hot. So hot.

Dream 3 – Escape from Orwellian Airport

So my last dream for the night plopped me down in a recurring dream scenario. The set-up is basically an airport-esque building (multiple levels with escalators and strict funneling of people through hallways) and Luffy and I need to get out of it. The catch is that we’re fugitives in some weird future society. They have these people/robot things that scan faces as you walk past and track you (kind of like that movie Minority Report – anyone remember that movie?). Anyway, each time I find myself in this dream, Luffy and I come up with a different way to get out. This time around, it involved discovering a clothing shop that would apparently sell you some image-altering suit. It was right there, off the main hallway! We were guided there by a sympathetic scanner-lady-robot person. They measured me and snipped away at fishnets I was wearing (I have not worn fishnets in years, for the record). They assured me that the ripped fishnet body stocking I was now sporting was the trendiest and most unique outfit – move over Oscar de la Renta, airport fashion people are trending. While they measured Luffy, he randomly turned into a sort of mouse-like animal. The measuring ladies were freaked out and I was all like – oh yeah, he does that sometimes. And then I held him while they finished measuring. And then we escaped! Only to find ourselves in some weird forest where we were trying to bury gold and I think a tiara in this trunk with a turnstile key thing. I don’t really know. Dr Cox from Scrubs was there. He had it covered.

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